Sky Diving is Dangerous, So is Love

1/2 cup non instant oatmeal

2 tablespoons sugar free syrup

chocolate protein shake (two scoops, not three)

salad with mushrooms, cheese, fat free ranch

lather, rinse, repeat.

BORING.

I want Taco Bell's new $5 box! Those bastards. And of course they have to play the commercial A MILLION TIMES A NIGHT WHILE I AM TRYING TO WATCH TELEVISION.

I feel better today, dear blog, than I did the last time we spoke. I'm not sure why I have these sudden bouts of sadness and negativity. I wish I could somehow turn them off when I feel them coming on. I suppose everyone gets down from time to time, I just feel like I do more than others. Who knows.

I just pulled the tiniest sticker off of my cell phone. It's something pertaining to the camera on it.... anyway, it's the smallest sticker I've ever seen. I wonder if someone puts them on there by hand. And if so, I wonder if they completely hate their life. What would that title be called? Tiny Sticker Placement Expert.

Sometimes when I drive to work, I let my overactive imagination get the best of me. I see cars flying through a red light and hitting me at full speed, or a large, sharp object flying from the back of a trailer and impaling me through the windshield, or getting side swiped and pushed off the highway down the embankment, rolling to my almost death. Because of course I wouldn't die, I'd just be paralyzed or severely injured or.... I disgust myself.

I played my guitar for the first time in several months last night. It felt good. It made me feel like sneaking into an open mic night somewhere in town and playing. I wouldn't tell anyone, I'd just go and get it out of my system. I love playing in front of other people. There's something about it...the way my tummy feels, the way everything slows down but speeds up at the same time, the way the light shines in your eyes, the way the chair up there is never comfortable. I love the way singing into a microphone forces you to keep your face towards the audience, forcing you to literally face your fears. I miss it a lot, but then I hear this voice in the back of my head saying "you aren't that good anyway, Nik." And the voice is right. I'm not that good. I'm a mediocre guitar player that thinks my voice outweighs the crappyness of the guitar, but I'm guessing it doesn't really. Sometimes louder....isn't better.

It's Friday. Thank. Fucking. God.

I have no idea what I'm doing tonight. Rachel wanted to get together around 8 maybe and watch movies, but I'm getting stir crazy! I want it to be nice outside again. I hate being cooped up all the time. Maybe that's why I've been exceptionally pissy lately. I need sunshine and heat. I feel dead inside in the winter.

Okay, enough vomiting for one session. Thanks for listening blog. Have a good blog weekend.

What does "vinyl shine" mean anyway?

I'm being very hair vain today. So sue me. I'm having a killer hair day. Don't be mad, my little blog, that you do not have hair. I love you just the way you are.

I recently realized that I tell my boyfriend too much information. Doesn't that sound silly? I thought that honesty and openness was part of a healthy relationship. I've had on more than one occasion and in more than one relationship, someone older and more experienced than me tell that I tell the man I love a bit too much. I tell him more than he needs to know. It sucks because I tell him these things because I feel like I should be able to. He's supposed to be my best friend, right? But not when they back fire. I see what these women, my mother included, are saying. I just don't agree with it. I suppose I will follow their advice, because I see that it can be beneficial. Something about it....it just doesn't feel right. I suppose though, if the shoe were on the other foot, there are things that might happen to my man sometimes that I don't need to hear about. I don't want to hear about the hot girl in the elevator complimenting him on his perfect biceps.

Maybe I'll get the hang of this "relationship" thing some day. I'm workin' on it!

In other news, I've lost three pounds.

In other news, I still feel like a cow.

This blogging thing is great, I really think that. Sadly though, it let's me see a side to a dear friend of mine that makes my heart break for her. Sometimes I just want to shake her. She feels mediocre and what I wish she could see is that there are tons of people, myself included that are jealous of her! That wish they could be more like her. My heart feels 10 sizes too small when I compare it to hers. She's such a gem. I just love her. Don't get me wrong blog, I love you too. But you don't have perfect teeth and eyes the color of green olives cut in half.

I'm going to have sex tonight. Thank god. It's been 5 days due to my lady parts being "out of order" and let me tell you asexual blog friend, I'm pretty fucking excited about it. No pun intended.

Mostly garbage today. Sorry. I just felt you were due a blog...blog. Talk to you soon.