Blue skies shining on me!

Man I feel incredible. I really do. Life has never been this wonderful and peaceful, fulfilling, giving, receiving, blessed. God the list goes on and on. I honestly wouldn't change a thing. Except I do feel a tiny hole forming that could only be filled with the sound of little feet and precious giggles.

I would love to have a mini Ryan and me. I would love him/her with the part of my heart that I've never had the pleasure of exploring. I want to believe in God more than I do now and I know the moment I meet this thing that I made with my best friend, I will see God. I will feel a higher power. I want to feel that again.

It's so easy for me to deny ever being in love before because the love I feel right now for this beautiful creature I get to call mine is so much more intense, so real, so different than any feeling I've ever felt before. He told me I'm his best friend the other night. This touched me so deeply. I feel the same way about him. I know I can tell him anything and he will understand. He has forgiven me for mistakes I've made pre and post Ryan. He has shown me the positive or "sunny side" to any bad day. He reminds me to look up, not down, when the day has made me it's bitch. I can feel his heart beat when he holds me and it's a sound, that exact beat and sound, that I want to hear for the rest of my life. I've never had a man treat me this way and I pray to God, every single day, to please never take him away from me.

It's finally spring! Trees are blooming. Flowers are popping up and looking so sweet and innocent with their tea cup-like shapes and colors. It reminds me of being a child.

I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with my parents last weekend. It was wonderful. The older I get, the more human they become and I can't get enough of it. They are so good to me. My dad is my best friend, absolutely. I can call him day or night, just to say hello, and he just knows what I need to hear, even if I didn't tell him something's bothering me. My mother makes me laugh, I see myself in her. I also see sadness and regret in her eyes that I wish I could make go away. I want her to look in the mirror and feel like she made the right choices in this life. She did the right thing. She made me who I am in several ways. The older I get, the more I see her face looking back at me in the mirror. Not just in physical ways, our eyes, the shape of my body, etc., but her, the inside her. I love her. She is strong. She's a good wife to my father. She is giving. God bless her.

Anyway, enough vomiting. I felt the need to blog after reading Narnia's blog. I thought it would only be fair if I too, found a place to puke. Thanks for the inspiration dear, you are so important to me.